It was like I had gone to a battle. I was fighting for self-control, saying goodbye, and holding on. I couldn’t let go. I wanted to hold on. I wouldn’t say I liked the night to end. The desire to stay close, so close, was on top of my head. Screaming.  I did not want him to go because it meant three weeks or more without seeing him. A long-distance relationship sucks! So the night he bid farewell, I held on to him and clung like glue. He was holding on to me dearly, and I felt that at that moment, he, too, needed something to hold on to while away. However, when two people are so close, it means intimacy, and the desire for each other grows, and feelings intensify.

But as a Christian who prioritizes Godly dating, I care about how Christ viewed me.  I care about my purity, and he cares about it too.

Purity means to abstain from worldly passions and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age (Titus 2:12).

But how is it too hard? Or rather, why is it too hard?

Of course, I almost lost myself. ALMOST. When I clung to him and held him so close, I was tempted to just give in. It seemed like there was a black veil covering the eyes of my heart and made me blinded with desire.

I asked him to go, but my body betrayed me and pulled him closer. I was glad when he had the power to say the line, “Don’t pull me closer.” He did say sorry for pushing my button. He prayed, and I was glad that he had the strength to lead me to stay pure and right before God’s eyes. Even though I saw the passion in his eyes, he fought for righteousness and how I admired him for it.

I was thankful and grateful that our desire to stay pure in our dating relationship was still there and secure. I learned so many things about myself after that.

You can’t really say you have self-control until you meet the desire. To stay pure, don’t play with fire. Not even a hint. Talking about what happened helps. Confession helps. Getting more close and studying God’s words really help a lot.

Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what the will of God is, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Having said that, I prayed that we would continue to stay pure and right in our dating relationship until we decided to get married.